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On motherhood and...Being more Della


TV mothers have long provided inspiration to real mothers everywhere, and recently there has been a cooler crop than ever before. Gone are the days when motherhood had to mean boring, with characters like the mum from Malcolm in the Middle, or even Marge Simpson, playing the straight guy to their well-intentioned but useless comedy husbands and tearaway children. Mums on TV now are proving they can be funny, hapless, irresponsible, and brilliant in their own rights. Sharon Horgan in ‘Catastrophe’ is an obvious and excellent example, but my personal TV mum icon is the irrepressible Della from ‘Raised by Wolves’, every time. I might be five children away from the tribe of six she is raising, and I may (in her words) be a ‘Southern Twat’ rather than a ‘Midlands Twat’, but I love her immensely. Here’s why I’ve made it my personal aim in life to Be More Della.
Ferocity
‘Raised by Wolves’ is so named because it’s set in Wolverhampton, and because the girls and the ‘babbies’ run in a pack. The leader of their pack is Della. She is supremo Alpha Female – tough, sarcastic, protective. It’s the protectiveness that’s the most apparent, not just of her kids but also of her Dad, of Wolverhampton, even of a car park being littered by a random passer by. I too want to impress my kids by curb crawling litterbugs and calling them ‘Princess Twinkletoes’ before shaming them for being part of the problem, not the solution.
Kindness
Balancing the toughness in Della is a kindness and love for her kids which makes the character work, and saves her from being a mean bitch. There’s a lovely moment when eldest daughter Germaine admits her mum was right, and her first boyfriend was a prat. Della gives her a big, leather-jacketed hug and says ‘But he was your prat. And you never forget your first prat’. God grant me the wisdom to give my daughter advice when she needs it, and a cuddle when nothing else will do.
Grampy
Della’s dad lives in their cupboard under the stairs, smoking pot and reminiscing about his rock ‘n’ roll past. I’d like to think I’d afford my dad the same kindness, should the need arise.
Her Leather Jacket
This is a woman who proves that motherhood doesn’t equate to being approachable in public and wearing cardigans. Della sitting on a camping chair looking cool AF in her leather, with a fag on and a can of cider, could be my future. I hope it is.
Making Mundanity Fun
When I was a kid, one of me and my sisters’ favourite activities was helping our Uncle Len lock up an office block in St Albans. That’s literally all it was – he was being paid to do the locking up, and we were chasing up and down the corridors, sitting in the swivel chairs, and being treated to vending machine hot chocolates and cuppa soups in thin plastic cups. And we LOVED it. Kids’ activities don’t have to be all soft play and £8 entries, they can be apparently mundane and still fun. Just like Della sending her kids off round the common to forage for their tea, armed only with the ‘Food for Free’ book. What a great idea.
Sass and Sex Appeal
Della is super duper sexy. If only I could be so sexy. And I love her the most for having six kids and STILL being sexy. It’s tired and boring but it still needs saying: screen mums are good for more than Persil adverts and crass MILF/cougar comedies.
Use of the Word ‘Frig’
As in, ‘Frig me, I love Wolvo.’ What a word.
Power Tools and Gardening
When I told my other half I was going to write a post about Della and how much I love her for how much she loves power tools and gardening, he laughed and told me I don’t know how to operate any power tools, or do any gardening. BUT THAT’S THE POINT, I yelped. I want to be be the kind of mum who can wield a masonry drill or a strimmer with gusto. I, too, want to grow a load of vegetables and tell Asda to “go fuck itself”.
So there you go – this is why I love Della and why she is my magnificent TV mum icon. The actor who plays her, Rebekah Staton, credits Clint Eastwood as inspiration for the role. How cool is that? She proves that you don’t have to be mummyish to be a mother, and for that I salute her, and Caitlin Moran and co. for creating her.

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