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On motherhood and...Loungewear


My friend Caroline laughed when I told her ages ago that I prioritise comfort over style when dressing, but it is 100% true. This is something I’ve really only learned about myself in adulthood: when I was a teenager I listened to a lot of ska punk and spent my life in DC skate shoes, army surplus jackets and Criminal Damage jeans so wide my friend used to shoplift other trousers underneath them. My nickname at the time was Trampy (meant very affectionately, of course) and I embraced it with gusto. It was never a question of style versus comfort – this was my style and I was very comfortable with it.
University obviously did nothing to buck this trend – all I managed to add to my look was some pretty scrappy bleached dreadlocks – and so I managed to make it to 22 wearing almost exclusively flat boots and enormous tops with zips and hoods. And everything I have worn so far has sought to replicate that degree of comfort. There is just something so deeply offputting about shoes you can’t wear with socks, trousers that need ironing properly, or shirts of any kind. This is why I will never make a high flying business executive, or a fashionista. Obviously I have learned over time to dress in a vaguely appropriate professional way, but I’m always pretty keen to kick off the serious black trousers and get back in my comfies at the first opportunity.
Pregnancy presented, therefore, my number one sartorial opportunity. Elasticated waists! Enormous cardigans! The knowledge that employers will not question why you’re wearing leggings all day! But it made me realise one cardinal truth: loungewear is not as fun when it’s your only costume choice. Just as a lie in is nicest after a long week, or a hot bath is particularly amazing if you’ve been out on a cold walk, loungewear is lovely because you wear it when you’re winding down. Wearing leggings all week is like spending all day in bed or in the bath – it makes you feel a bit gross and mad. And like so much else about pregnancy it convinces you that, were you not pregnant, you’d be making all the opposite choices: in this case, wearing 9-inch stilettos, leather trousers, and a whalebone corset. Every time you hear the words ‘cashmere bed socks’ you think ‘open-toe court shoe’.
Now that I’m not pregnant any more I haven’t exactly reached immediately for the trouser press. Post-baby dressing has been a smorgasbord of random clothes that are the perfect balance between slightly larger than usual and not as big as being nine months pregnant required. You also have to factor in getting dressed one-handed while holding a baby, and wearing pants and trousers high enough not to rub against your c section scar (roughly where your muff ends and your tummy begins – i.e. Where pants and trousers generally live). Rather than treating my non-pregnant self to some snappy new looks, this has led to some of the worst and weirdest outfits I have ever worn, Trampy-era included. Last week I went to the shops in Harpenden wearing white puma trainers, no socks, grey M&S joggers, a giant size 18 turquoise top from Phase 8, and a khaki parka. Do you know what colours do not go? Khaki and turquoise. I tried to jazz the look up with my sister’s oversized Oliver Bonas scarf, but I just looked like I’d nicked it off a grown up. (I actually meant to photograph this look as evidence for the blog, but by the time I got home the baby had pooed on my top, possibly in protest at the colour).
This was the outfit I was wearing when I was swarmed by a thousand (4) Harpenden ladies admiring the pram I was driving around Boots. They didn’t bat an eye lid at my astonishing outfit choice, so bowled over were they by the sleek design and colour scheme of the flipping buggy. I honestly think I could been dressed like Cruella deVille and they wouldn’t have noticed. They stayed and admired the pram, and eventually the baby, for so long that I actually started sweating gently, probably thanks to the giant scarf and a sense of panic at my rapidly dwindling sense of identity. What happened to the ska punk days? Why do these women find me so approachable? Why does the Boots employee want to talk to me rather than assume I am trying to shoplift a Barry M nail varnish?
It transpires that, when you have a baby, people see mum first and person second. Actually, in mad Harpenden, they see pram, baby, mum, in that order. Which would be frustrating, were it not for the fact that I am currently incapable of getting dressed in the morning. At the moment, being in disguise as a sensible adult human thanks to the camouflage of motherhood is possibly No Bad Thing.
Baby and pram 1: turquoise and khaki 0.

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