Becky Boop

Last week C had a week-long job scheduled out in Germany, and we decided that the nicest way of managing his potential time away from home was for me and M to go along with him. We’d hang loose in the daytime, just as we do normally, and then we could fill our evenings with Weissbier and sauerkraut and Craig wouldn’t have to go ages without seeing his beloved firstborn. This seemed a sound plan when it was made a couple of months ago – a 15-week old sounded practically grown up to us at that point. But man did it roll round quickly. And so it was that I found myself at 4am last Saturday deliberately waking Maggie up in order to get her into the car to Heathrow (much to her chagrin, since she was just getting used to being told to put a sock in it at 4am). Here is what the ensuing week taught me: 1. Babies need hold luggage C booked carry-on only for the bambino, reasoning that her clothes are very tiny and there would be a washing machine there anyway. Clothes ain’t the half of ...

There is a website where you can buy maternity bras, and it is called Hot Milk. Just think about that for a second. Hot Milk. I don’t even know where to begin. The following thoughts occur to me: 1. It would hurt if your breasts dispensed hot milk. 2. It would also give a whole new dimension to the idea of the Babyccino. You could start your own sideline as a baby coffee machine. 3. Hot denotes sexy, and linking this to milk suggests that lactating boobs are therefore a sexy proposition. This is pretty niche. I am awed by the female body, including our ability to feed infants, but I’m not sure ‘sexy’ is the word I would use. 4. Is it a riff on Got Milk? Have they jettisoned the question mark in order to make people feel more certain about buying their bras? 5. This website seems to be suggesting that maternity bras themselves can be sexy, rather than the unsupportive boob-squishing pseudo-sports bra design that I have become familiar with. And it is on point five that...