Becky Boop

I have had the great privilege recently of knowing not one but two families in the early stages of raising twins. Obviously I can’t speak for them – I can’t even imagine the complexity of such a mammoth task – but one thing I do know, because they have told me, is that it is hard. One friend, when I saw her last week, told me she was deliriously happy but also felt she had no understanding of quite how tough it was going to be. Partly because nobody  really  told her what to expect. I was chatting to the parents of some friends about this (who have also raised twins) and we were thinking about the nature of advice, and how every new mother feels, somehow, like they didn’t really know what to expect and that they could have been better forewarned / forearmed. This is such a predominant theme among new parents, and I have heard variations on it (and said it myself) a zillion times. Why wasn’t I warned? How could I feel so unprepared? Why did I go in blind? Why wasn’t this ...

After last week’s very serious post about empathy and children, I have been thinking more about my absolute inability to ‘curate my viewing’, as my friend Ben put it, in the light of impending/new maternity. If you had asked me a year ago which films should be avoided in this psychologically delicate state, I would have got as far as ‘Rosemary’s Baby’, and that’s about it. I’m not a horror nerd, although I do like horror films, and I am sure there are several involving pregnancy and babies, but they had not crossed my path. Children, sure –  The Shining ,  Don’t Look Now , even things like  The Woman in Black and  The Others . But not necessarily babies. What follows is a list of films I have watched recently that seemed, as per the previous post, to be SPEAKING DIRECTLY TO ME, and which I almost immediately wished I hadn’t seen. Massive spoilers ahead. The Witch Have you ever considered the answer to the question, ‘how can we make breastfeeding frightening’...

When I was at university we had a professor who surprised everyone by saying that, if it were possible, he might like to have ‘The Pillowman’ banned. The play, which features a series of brilliant but brutal scenes and stories of abuse, had changed for him fundamentally as he grew older. He mentioned having a child as a turning point, a softening. The suggestion was that by becoming responsible for a tiny life, your view of the world could shift. Art which you had previously tolerated, even liked, could suddenly take on a new meaning, your tastes changing as your perspective shifted. At the time I didn’t fully understand what he meant – I think as a class we prided ourselves on our ability to handle quite shocking drama and subjects – but I am beginning to now. It goes without saying that the first few days of motherhood are emotionally overwhelming, and that new mothers cry  a lot . What I hadn’t really bargained on was the longer term effect it would have on how I saw the wo...